November closes...

And it has been a busy month.

DS survived his CT, we are waiting for the results.  I don't care what the procedure, or how many times you have been through something personally, it is *nerve* wracking when it is happening to your child.  Having to leave the room and hearing him scream due to me not being there made me cry. (I had DD with me, so I couldn't stay in the CT room :( ) I am glad he couldn't see me cry. Thankfully, no sedation, so we came back to the house and met his speech therapist.   From there, he had school.

DS enjoys school, although he knew something was coming up, as he became clingier.  Guess this should be documented as an adventure.  About a week after DD was born, I started experiencing right sided pain, upper abdomen. At its worst, it woke me up in the middle of the night thinking someone was trying to run me threw with a sword.  It really was quite unpleasant.  After a round of non-RSV bronchiolitis with my then 4 week old DD, and my PP appointment, I finally went and took a trip to Urgent Care.  Poked, prodded and sent for a gallbladder ultrasound that came back inconclusive.  The UC NP gave me a GI cocktail to see if it was my stomach causing the problem.  (Liquid Regan, Mylanta and liquid lidocaine).  It did nothing but make my throat numb.

I got set off with two cards for GI's to look at.  I researched the names/practices and got myself an appointment for the following week.  They drew blood, chatted with me.  Dr. Longacre then gave the orders for a HIDA scan (liver/gallbladder function test done with nuclear imaging). While waiting for the test, our trip to NOLA finally hit.  It was an excellent time.  That is for another post.  While in NOLA, Dr. Longacre's office called and noted that my lipase was elevated.  So, I was sent for a CT scan as well.  Once both tests were performed, I received a call after the results were reviewed.

CT came back with things looking normal (for once, I am normal!). The HIDA scan was a different story.  IT is not a black or white test.  The gallbladder is considered functional at 35% or better.  My ejection function came back at 14%.  I was sent to a surgeon, and did the consult with Dr. Schwab. I scheduled for 11/19/10.

Had to be at the hospital at 5:30am.  Oof!  I was home by 11am, as the procedure went quickly.  I was smart with pain meds, and asked for a dose in recovery, as I shifted and it hurt. And since then, I have been feeling better, handling the post op pain (which is NOTHING compared to what I was dealing with). Can;t carry DS until I am cleared.  That makes me sad.  Lucky I can carry baby girl!

Speaking of baby girl, she is fusing and likely needs a diaper change.  Off to mama and head to bed.

What is normal?

Normal in my life is two children, who are happy with their milk.  A 9 week old, who is still learning her way with this "nursing" thing, and squeaks, gulps and coos with her milky grin.  A 2 year old who is an old hat at nursing.  He says "Please, more milk" when he wants to nurse (as he really does not talk yet).  He curls his body around my midsection and cuddles while he nurses.  This is a bedtime ritual.

My normal is seeing the growth that my milk has allowed my children.  Seeing them smile at me.  Seeing the special time I have with each one of them.  These normal moments are ones I treasure.  Ones I know may not be much longer with my son.  I aim to nurse my daughter for at least as long as I have my son.

While it can be challenging, I don't change it for the world.  Knowing that I have given a small part of my life, to make theirs better is more than worth it to me.  As I watch them sleep, I smile and know that I love them with all my heart.